Kevin recoiled. He put his hand on the wall to steady himself. His business partner of 11 years, Max, informed him that he’d invited a new profit-sharing partner, William, into the business because he had so many fresh ideas. Trouble was, Max hadn’t discussed it with him! Kevin felt shocked, betrayed, and deeply hurt. Ever since Kevin had been on a business trip out of state, Max and William had been meeting and texting without Kevin’s knowledge. He and Max had started this thing with nothing, but over the last 11 years, built a 15 million dollar business supporting security software in Fortune 500 companies. They had hired and trained a team of 22 IT specialists, who traveled around North America wherever they were needed. They had been Best Man at each other’s wedding. Kevin and Max were super close friends — as well as business partners. Shattered trust splintered their friendship, then it got worse.
A Fox in the Hen House
William was one of the specialists they had hired, but he did stand apart in his own right. He was creative and gregarious, and loved to network with IT guys at gatherings that drew a variety of enterprises. He was a magnet. And he’d made connections that led to more work, which added to his value as a contractor.
But he was also ambitious, pushy, and self-seeking. He repeatedly pressured Max to make him a partner, because he “deserved” to be a partner and to share in company profits since he had contributed by bringing large contracts.
Kevin could see the logic, but he had already learned that William was not loyal, except to himself. And by bringing him in as partner, he knew William would find ways to undercut their company… even stab Kevin in the back.
Still, the greatest loss Kevin felt was the loss of loyalty from his long time friend, Max and — after all they’d been through together — that Max betrayed their partnership and friendship.
Their entire partnership had been built on trust. They had built the company on their shared sweat and struggle. This business was their baby, and they had leaned on each other, often working through the night together, to make it strong. Kevin’s trust in Max was shattered.
It had been fun, but suddenly, the fun drained out of it like water out of a broken cup.
As weeks and months ran on, Kevin found it increasingly difficult to do the work he was so good at. Max brought his gifted public relations talent to their team, and had only adequate IT skills. Kevin was the technical genius, providing the know-how and support the specialists needed when they ran into difficulties with their own on-site assignments.
He was the problem-solver for everyone, including Max. But he was an introvert, and far less adept at networking and building profitable new alliances at conferences. (You know how that goes…. but between the two of them, he and Max were a dynamite pair.)
Betrayal Magnified
Then, William came along and drove a wedge between them, exploiting their small, young company to fill his own coffers, no matter whom he hurt. He wanted to be a CEO. No matter what it took, and no matter what it cost.
Within 4 months, Max and William had withdrawn all their investments in the company and started a new enterprise of their own.
Taking the best specialist contractors with them, the company Kevin loved had been gutted. Robbed.
The rage and hurt that billowed inside Kevin was suffocating. It festered for a year… it made him sick …then a dark cloud took over Kevin’s mind. A terrible ache in his chest never relented. He lost his drive to keep fighting for the survival of his business. His shattered trust was destroying his life.
His creativity that had underpinned everything for 11 years seemed to go silent. He felt ignorant. Useless. Inept. Helpless.
If he ran into Max or William at a conference or gathering, he’d break out in a sweat, his breathing rapid, and just quake. Immediately, he needed to escape and would walk out and head for his hotel room.
Then, as cruelty heaped on itself, he was engulfed in shame for his cowardice.
Finally, A Talk with His Wife
He didn’t know what was wrong with him. Why couldn’t he just walk up to them and greet them and move on? Why did he feel so helpless and panicked?
Finally, he opened up to his wife, Krystal, and confessed his behavior to her, and the shame he felt. She was so relieved he finally included her in his pain. Since the whole nightmare of Max and William had begun, her husband had been shut down, unwilling or unable to talk. Just stuck.
She had grieved for him, for all the hard work and dreams that were crushed for him, and especially the shattered trust. It was as though when Kevin’s trust in Max was broken, he was afraid to trust anyone…even her.
Together, they started googling for help…answers to their questions about the misery Kevin was experiencing. They read about broken trust, and how a severe unexpected assault, even one that wasn’t physical — but rather emotional and relational — could cause a condition like PTSD.
That such an assault can be a form of trauma that causes psychological damage. They even learned that seeing Max and William triggered the trauma all over again. His sickening feelings, his reaction to seeing Max and William, was a common reaction to deep trauma, an effort to avoid further trauma.
Thinking about it that way gave Kevin some relief. It relieved some of his shame. His sense of failure.
He knew all this had shocked him and hurt him deeply.
But, he beat himself up that he couldn’t seem to go on as if nothing had happened.
The more shame he poured on himself, the more withdrawn he became. The darker his thoughts grew, the more anxiety he felt around people.
IV Ketamine Helps
So they googled “PTSD treatment” and “anxiety treatment” and found a consistent pop was IV ketamine treatment.
Hmmmm.
Maybe they should at least look into that.
Instinctively, they had no intention of diving into some mysterious treatment without the advice of a doctor. But, Kevin and Krystal were healthy and young, and hadn’t felt the need for doctors at this point in their lives. So, they’d have to find one who could help.
In the search results, they found a psychiatry practice not too far from them, where IV ketamine treatment was one of the treatments offered for depression, anxiety, and PTSD, among other conditions.
It seemed like a good place to start, so they called for an appointment.
The psychiatrist identified symptoms of depression and anxiety. After discussing what had happened, and his reaction to it, she confirmed that Kevin was suffering from his response to trauma, and that IV ketamine treatment could be very helpful for him.
Remission is the Goal
Kevin started treatment right away, and continued twice a week. The doctor explained that the dosage was titrated with each infusion to find a therapeutic dose for him that would bring optimum results.
She said, “When we give IV ketamine, our goal is remission from your symptoms. We don’t always achieve that, but we do everything we can through dosage, rate, and frequency, with that goal in mind. Remember though, that ketamine isn’t for everyone. Some people just don’t get the benefits so many others do. But for those who respond to it, ketamine treatment can bring joy and hope as well as remission.”
She was honest. Real. Knew her stuff.
In Kevin’s case, he began to experience relief that was vague — but undeniable — after the 3rd infusion. From that point on, each infusion seemed to reduce that “frozen-with-fear” feeling. Then after the fifth, a faint sense of hope began to emerge inside him.
After the 7th, he laughed for the first time in well over a year. He finished with the 8th infusion, and decided with the doctor he’d see how things went for a few weeks.
As it turned out, he went for a booster a month later, because the frozen feeling seemed to be returning. And again a month after that.
Healing Begins
Then, over the following weeks, he continued to feel more and more relaxed and confident. He and Krystal talked often about his grief from losing his friend, Max. The more they talked, the more he was able to let go of his bitterness and pain.
Ironically, he got a call from Max about that time. Max apologized for his actions, and told him he deeply regretted what he’d done to Kevin. He told him he missed his friendship terribly, and wished they could try to rebuild it.
Kevin told him he appreciated his call, and it helped to know that Max regretted his actions. It also helped to know he actually did value their friendship. He wished Max well, but explained that he didn’t know how to rebuild the trust they had. That it seemed pretty impossible.
Kevin and Max never spoke again, but Kevin was so glad they had talked. It helped to heal the wounds from the shattered trust, to some degree. And he was especially glad he and Krystal had found out about ketamine treatment. It had given Kevin a new start. Fast. Without wasting any more time.
Have you experienced trauma, and feel like a prisoner to depression, anxiety…maybe PTSD?
IV ketamine treatment can be transformative by restoring connections between brain cells that have been pruned and damaged by stress and trauma. By working in the lateral habenula, it can repair your ability to feel reward.
If you can identify with the kind of trauma Kevin experienced from shattered trust — in business, in relationships, or just in life — call us.
You can live again, embrace life and challenges again, and ketamine treatment just may be the help you need to embark on that road.
We’re here to help.
To the restoration of your best self,
