Marc and Amber had two children. One who was outgoing and gregarious…who never met a stranger…and one who was shy, inhibited, and thoughtful, as well as very intelligent. Cecie was the outgoing one who lived in joy and exuberance, but not all kids are butterflies. Liam was the deep thinking, brooding one. When they were young, Marc and Amber thought they’d never have to worry about Cecie who seemed to have the world at her feet. But they did worry about Liam, as he usually seemed so tied up in knots, rarely relaxing. As the oldest, he looked after Cecie to some degree, but she tried to help him, too. When they were very young, Liam was too shy to order French fries for himself, or an ice cream. But Cecie loved to stand on her tiptoes, peer over the counter, and order for both of them. And Liam was happy for the help.
However, what really worried his parents was that Liam found it so difficult to make friends. Amber would accompany him to class on his first day of school the first few years, and strike up conversations with students at nearby desks. She saw it as priming the pump, so to speak. Once she could encourage conversation between Liam and at least one other student, she would bid him goodbye and leave the classroom. It was the best she knew to do to ease his pain.
Even as a young child, Liam’s palms sweated when he was in social situations. His face would freeze, and he’d be stiff all over. It was so difficult for him to relax and engage with others. He could hardly talk. He wanted friends, but couldn’t overcome the frozen state that would overcome him around his peers. Bottom line, it’s just a fact that not all kids are butterflies. What’s easy for one may be extremely difficult for another.
Giving Liam Tools
Amber worked with him from a young age to help him develop positive responses to new people, by smiling and reaching out to shake their hands… and saying, “I’m Liam. I’m glad to meet you.” Liam was relieved to have something he could memorize and do in those terrifying, awkward moments.
Marc recognized that his son struggled to function around people he didn’t know, but saw that he was relaxed and happy at home. He didn’t see what Amber saw, as Liam tried to navigate his way through so many situations. They enrolled him in Little League, to help him work with a team, and to have access to other boys his age.
Thankfully, there was usually a kid who was so outgoing that he reached out tenaciously to overcome Liam’s withdrawal and connect with him. If they hadn’t, he would have never had a friend. He just couldn’t ever seem to make any overtures toward others around him. When he was thrown into situations that presented him with mandatory interaction, Liam just tucked his chin and endured.
Amber worried.
She thought about what life would throw at Liam when he grew up. How would he apply for a job? How would he survive in college? Living with a roommate in the dorm? How would he ever relax enough to develop friendships with girls…? To eventually date? Would he ever become independent enough to build a rewarding, meaningful life? She recognized that not all kids are butterflies, but how could she help him overcome the obstacles he faced?
By the time Liam was in middle school, he was developing more and more interest in computers, software, apps, and games. He would play online games with others and found it so much easier to interact online where he was anonymous.
Marc and Amber were glad to see him spreading his wings, at least virtually. They were glad he was actually connecting with people he didn’t know. They talked with him about being safe, and not allowing himself to be lured away from the house, or to let anyone have access to his own computer from the outside.
With impatience, Liam said, “Of course not.”
They knew he was intelligent as well as self protective. In spite of being so withdrawn, he was also pretty savvy. They hoped that playing these games would help him develop social skills in a way that would eventually pay off in his life in a bigger sense.
Maybe a Party Would Help
They encouraged him to invite friends over…maybe have a party. He looked at them aghast.
“A party..? I have one friend. I don’t know people to invite to a ‘party’ for gosh sakes. But thanks for trying.”
Ok, so not all kids are butterflies. Amber knew so well that Liam marched to a different drummer. Even so, she tried to get acquainted with the parents of the one friend Liam spent time with. She encouraged Liam to invite the friend — Jason — to spend the night. She was always always looking for ways to help Liam branch out, relax, enjoy life, and make friends, even in little ways.
Meanwhile, Cecie’s social life bloomed constantly. She had slumber parties, pedicure parties, cookie swaps with her friends. She was always busy, always enthusiastically planning something new and exciting. It was all Amber could do to keep up with her daughter’s schedule.
You might say she had a child on each end of the extreme. One was such a social butterfly, she kept Amber exhausted. The other was such a loner, it kept her worried about whether he’d ever be able to function in the world.
She loved them both so much. How could she prepare both of them for what life would throw at them?
By the time Liam was in high school, his academic accomplishments were remarkable. But he refused to attend the awards ceremonies each year to receive his rewards for his performance. He wanted nothing to do with the crowded auditorium and the noise of all those people talking. Not all kids are butterflies, but it grieved Amber that her son couldn’t go to the ceremonies for the rewards he had earned.
By this time he had refused to go into another barbershop or hair dresser’s for a haircut. Again, he just couldn’t handle the noise or the people he didn’t know. So his hair grew. And grew.
And he spent his waking hours outside of school with his nose glued to the computer screen.
But, Marc and Amber had to admit that it wasn’t all bad. Liam was developing real, marketable skills in the thousands of hours he spent on the computer. He’d learned how to design and build apps and had even sold one to a business that offered fishing guides and tackle.
Even so…how would he go to college when he couldn’t handle noise or strangers? How could he live in the dorm…? How could he go to work eventually and support himself?
Permanently Dependent Middle Aged Child?
Amber pictured…in her mind’s eye… Marc and herself in their 60’s with their son in his 40’s still living at home and interacting with the world on his computer. What if he didn’t overcome this? It wasn’t that a job like that wouldn’t be honorable. It was that there needed to be more to his life than a computer screen. Marriage, children, baseball games, skiing, hobbies…all the things people enjoy when they aren’t working. It made her sick to think of her beautiful son withdrawn and dependent on his parents to protect him from a world of people and places. Sure, not all kids are butterflies, but didn’t he deserve to be happy? Was he happy?
She just didn’t know how to help him.
She and Marc talked about it from time to time, wondering how they might encourage his development. Such a gifted young man, but hidden away in his own personal cave.
Then, Marc read about depression and social anxiety. He recognized the symptoms that he saw in his son. Armed with that insight, he googled treatments for depression as well as treatments for social anxiety. IV ketamine treatment kept emerging in the articles he read.
Apparently, ketamine treatment demonstrated effectiveness in many cases of depression, and for some, could relieve the symptoms of social anxiety. He learned that social anxiety could critically interfere with social development, job interviews, and independence.
He talked with Amber about what he’d learned.
That Liam’s extreme withdrawal could actually be symptoms of a condition, as opposed to just being his personality. His sweating palms, shaking hands, frozen facial expression were caused by anxiety. And it could be treated.
He also talked to Amber about herself. Sixteen years of worrying about her son had become almost obsessive, and her tensions, fears, and exhaustion might also be symptomatic of depression and anxiety in her, too.
Amber agreed to call a doctor in their area who’d been mentioned in one of the articles they read. She made an appointment for all three of them to talk with the psychiatrist.
The doctor wanted to see Amber and Liam individually, then she spoke with all three together.
She agreed that ketamine treatment could be of great benefit to Liam, and could open up so many possibilities for him. She also agreed that Amber’s stress had worn down her resilience and hope.
The doctor encouraged the family to consider ketamine treatment for both of them, with the understanding that ketamine isn’t for everyone. In some cases, it didn’t result in the desired outcome…at least, initially. But in the vast majority of cases, it could be transformative…and even lead to remission.
Hope Rises
Liam felt hope for the first time in is life. He really wanted to receive the treatment, and they scheduled him for the infusions to begin that day. Maybe it could turn out ok that not all kids are butterflies. Maybe just maybe?
Amber was reluctant at first. But when she saw her son’s transformation over the next few weeks, she agreed with Marc that she should schedule treatments for herself, too.
Liam felt better after the first treatment. He felt like a load was being lifted off him. With each infusion, he felt more relaxed, more comfortable in his own skin, and more at ease with others. He signed up for the debate club at school and excelled at each competition. His confidence grew as his team mates praised him and patted him on the back.
Amber was amazed at Liam’s improvement. But it was like she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. However, after her own third infusion, she noticed feeling better. She continued with 7 infusions in all, and found herself flooded with hope, confidence, and creativity.
As a family, the four of them began to enjoy each other in a new way. They laughed together with Liam cracking as many clever jokes as Cecie did. Liam found himself spending more and more time with his friends on the debate team, sometimes at his house, and sometimes elsewhere.
Confidence Helps Him Excel
By the time he graduated with his hair pulled back in a man-bun, he had earned 3 scholarships for the university he planned to attend. It no longer mattered that not all kids are butterflies. Liam was excelling for who he was.
Liam looked forward to college and to living in the dorm. He was ready to leave home and spread his wings. Marc and Amber could hardly contain the gratitude they felt about Liam’s blossoming.
And Amber had the energy and initiative to enjoy her husband on a new level, without the worry that had kept her captive for so long. She found new things to do with Cecie and enjoyed the trips they took together exploring universities for her.
Sometimes the stress of one family member spills over into others in the family. Sometimes there are those who suffer in the most obvious way, but others who suffer in the shadows.
Ketamine treatment is versatile, and can treat a variety of conditions.
If you or your loved one has suffered from symptoms like Liam or Amber did, and nothing else has helped, call us.
We want to see you bloom and enjoy the best you, you can be.
Give yourself the hope, creativity, confidence, and resilience you need to live your best life.
To the restoration of your best self,
