Do you trudge or dance ?
Trudging through life isn’t reserved for only the sick, the suffering, and the poverty-stricken. On some level, trudging is part of the routine of daily living for many. Certainly, it isn’t the sentence for every human. But why? Could the reason be hidden in the science of joy…?
Or is it because those privileged with wealth and fame are spared the drudgery of a mundane routine, bad weather, or a car that won’t start?
Let’s talk about the differences between those who trudge and those who dance through life. Is joy the result of near-perfect surroundings? Is it an abundance of happiness?
Or is joy the result of nurturing a garden in your psyche and soul that pays off in dividends of fragrance, beauty, patience, and the aromatic blossoming of inner joy?
For the last 4 weeks, we talked about ways to remodel the infrastructure of your mindset, your outlook, and your attitude. Our purpose has been to show you the potential for developing an atmosphere in your thought life that nurtures your remission after ketamine treatment, and gives you the rich soil you need to grow a healthy and peace-cultivating way of thinking.
Letting Go, Then Facing Your Truth, Sets You Free
When you let go of those things that you’ve held onto that have been obstacles to your wellbeing, you give yourself the gift of freedom from addictions, freedom from bitterness, freedom from rage that drives reactions inside you that can enslave you. You give yourself the gift of new options as you move forward in life.
Sometimes in the process of letting go of those things that have been destructive to your wellbeing, you find yourself against a wall that you don’t know how to penetrate. We talked about facing the truth about situations you haven’t wanted to face. You may have been defending yourself in your mind, and running active arguments through your mind to defend that thing you haven’t faced.
Then you can open yourself to the possibility that maybe you were actually wrong, or that you share the responsibility, and you can face and accept that. Telling that person you’ve been in conflict with that you know you were wrong, and asking forgiveness, can lift such a burden of shame and blame off you, and let you enjoy peace within yourself, and with others.
It doesn’t matter that you know their actions were terribly wrong and caused damage. That’s their responsibility. But you’ve evicted that guilt, resentment, and denial from your mind and heart. And the place it occupied is now filled with peace.
“Persisting” Leads to a Life of Peace and Kindness
Once you know you have nothing to prove, and you enjoy the relief and freedom that brings, you’re equipped to face the next item in your life that surfaces and go through that same process to find peace, once again.
You then learn that this is a way of life, and you can grow in peace and freedom by persisting in this process with each issue that arises within you.
You’re on a mission to set yourself free. And it’s working.
Then LOVE follows. Your process, your system for recovery, leads you to treat yourself with love, and that flows to others in kindness. Your former short-tempered, impatient, self-focused self becomes more focused on others and helping them find peace, too. And your personality begins to mold around the kindness that dominates in your interactions with others.
And you begin to notice that joy bubbles up from within.
So let’s talk about the anatomy of that joy.
What Is the Science of Joy?
Is it about happiness? Well, joy can make you smile like happiness can, but it’s based on different things.
Happiness is centered on “happenstance” …or basically when circumstances align with what you want. Maybe you’ve worked hard for that job, and maybe you got the promotion. Or maybe you were able to buy a car, after having to rely on the bus for the last 3 years. And just maybe… that gorgeous woman you met online finally agreed to meet you for coffee.
All of these things are good. And they present themselves as solutions to one problem or another. But the problem with happiness is that it is limited to your circumstances being a certain way that pleases you.
Now, the problem with life is that circumstances may line up with your desires from time to time, but then they change, don’t they? Happenstance, as such, is fickle. One day everything is just like you want it, and the next, well your world has been turned upside down.
You got passed up for the promotion after all. Someone ran a stop sign and your new car is wrecked. That gorgeous woman turned out to be a liar and a witch.
If that upsets your happy outlook, then you’re only happy when things go your way.
So there has to be something that comes from a deeper place—something that remains stable no matter which way the wind blows or the direction your boat floats.
It needs to be something that emerges from deep inside you, even when times are hard, and tells you everything is going to be alright. Something that fuels optimism in a storm.
It’s joy. Joy transcends circumstances. And it’s not based on you getting what you want.
Hmmm……you’re saying. What’s this?
Joy In Your Heart In Tough Times
Remember how we talked about giving of ourselves and the kindness that naturally follows? Well, this is also where joy comes in. While happiness is based on circumstances, joy flourishes as a product of transcending those circumstances.
Let’s say that again:
The Science of Joy teaches you that joy flourishes as a product of transcending your circumstances.
In fact, joy comes from giving to someone to the point of your own personal sacrifice, and from seeing that person gain freedom and joy, too.
Joy also arises from your gratitude.
Researchers have found that humans tend to focus more on negative experiences than positive ones. Even though we may have many times more positive experiences in a given 24 hour period, it’s the negative one that can ruin our day. That is, if we let it.
One thing people tend to do is to miss the chance to focus on the things that are good in their lives. And … after awhile … they don’t notice them at all.
This is where the attitude of gratitude comes in. A compelling component in the science of joy. One study showed that people who make a list each morning of all the things they’re grateful for, are healthier physically and psychologically, more successful, and happier. They’re less materialistic and envious, and more generous in giving to others.
Happiness vs. Joy
What is the opposite of happiness? Unhappiness.
What is the opposite of joy? Depression.
And what is a telltale sign that you’re in remission after ketamine treatment? Joy. And HOPE.
So it stands to reason that to maintain a joyous heart is to build a sort of insurance policy against depression. To rise in your aspirations higher than material gain, personal pleasure, or the attention that comes from achievement…well, it’s liberating. Then, to transcend your own desires, and rather reach beyond yourself to help someone else find fulfillment — that results in joy.
And because that joy is not dependent on you having what you want, it lasts.
And fuels your mind and heart with passion that motivates you to make the world a better place, one person at a time.
Mother Teresa and Your Family
Mother Teresa knew all about joy. She said, “Help one person at a time and start with the person nearest you…” and “..If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.”
For the most part, it’s safe to say that what you need is to be freed from making yourself happy. The science of joy, in a nutshell.
It might be interesting to write down all the things you think you want, and the stressors subtly associated with each one.
Like, the car payment you’d have to make every month, keeping it clean, paying for gasoline, changing the oil, paying for new tires, and the list goes on…
Then, think about the needs you see around you. Your parents? Maybe your spouse? Certainly your children…and maybe your neighbor or co-worker. Sometimes your presence is the greatest gift of all.
The science of joy includes simplifying your life. To free up your time and resources for a more rewarding way to live.
Sharing Your Joy
A researcher at Brigham Young University, Nathaniel Lambert, conducted a recent study that showed that when you share your positive experiences and the things you’re grateful for, it leads to heightened wellbeing, more energy, and better overall satisfaction in life.
Isn’t that amazing?? Practicing the very thing that supercharges your joy makes your life BETTER!!
When you take a step back and really think about all these aspects of joy, you gotta start to wonder if we all just need to make a major shift in what motivates us. Because when you’re motivated to please yourself, it leads to all sorts of obstacles to your peace.
But when you follow the path of joy, everything seems to fall into place.
And that’s the science of joy.
These are the keys to building an infrastructure to help your remission thrive… but if you haven’t received ketamine treatment yet, you may want to talk about it with us.
Ketamine treatment is particularly effective if you’ve had depression but haven’t been helped by at least two different medications. Ketamine is effective even with the most severe cases of depression, bipolar depression, suicidal thinking, and PTSD. There is new and exciting work on its effectiveness with addictions, OCD, and social anxiety. There is early work that studied it in eating disorders.
But the most exciting work with ketamine centers on using it to stop suicidal ideation. To stop suicidal thinking. And to avoid going to the ER. To avoid getting hospitalized. Put simply, to stop the suffering.
What a game changer.
And the remarkable thing about suicidal thinking is that ketamine can erase those thoughts fast – in less than an hour.
Reach out to us, or have your doctor get in touch with us. We love working with the doctors who already know you and take care of you so that we can create your best outcome.
If you think ketamine treatment might be right for you, call us. Let’s talk about whether you’re a candidate for ketamine treatment.
No other medication has offered such extraordinary outcomes to so many people. Our joy is helping you get better… really better.
To the healing and restoration of your best self,
Lori Calabrese, MD