Dan and Teresa were worried. It had been going on so long, they couldn’t remember when it started. Their son, Will, had been a good natured boy growing up, and had shown responsibility and good intentions when asked to tend to tasks to contribute to the family. He had always had a sparkle in his eye, enthusiasm for family projects, and did his best to carry his weight. But somewhere along the way, he had become more passive, quieter to some degree…and less interested in conversation with his parents. Or at least it seemed that way. It seemed that he honestly didn’t care about much of anything. Dan’s worry about his apathy was eating a hole in his heart.
Why Was Will So Apathetic?
He didn’t have many friends as far as his parents could tell, and showed little interest in inviting them over. He spent a lot of time alone in his room, playing video games or watching TV. He’d been a conscientious student through middle school, but now his grades barely passed. When they set limits on his alone time, and insisted he do his homework, it made only the slightest difference in his overall grades.
Dan and Teresa tried to talk with him but he just didn’t have anything to say. He just stared at his lap and said, “I don’t know…” over and over.
It was maddening, frustrating, and irritating. But mostly they were getting really worried about him. They didn’t seem to know Will any more. That was the worst of it. That and the fear they felt for his future. Their worry about his apathy dominated their minds.
After racking their brains to try to think of something to draw him out of his funk, it occurred to them he might enjoy a family camping trip… and maybe he’d relax enough to talk… even a little.
Family Camping Trip
So they scheduled it for a 3 day weekend that was coming up, and packed up his favorite foods for the trip. They also rented a kayak, hoping he might enjoy paddling around the lake.
Will didn’t fight the idea of going, but he also showed no enthusiasm for it. Even this! Teresa was tempted to feel offended, but she tried to push those thoughts out of her mind. Hoping for the best, the family took off for a state park an hour away.
Teresa tried to strike up a conversation in the car, but Will only answered her questions with a single word: yes… or no. Finally, she popped in a CD hoping that music would soothe whatever was wrong.
But what was wrong? Why did Will seem so disconnected? Did anything matter to him?
Dan was tied up in knots about it. He had trouble focusing on his job, or accomplishing much of anything. His intelligent and gifted son seemed to have checked out of life. In a couple years he would need to go to college to try to start to build his future, but Dan knew if something didn’t give, he’d never make it in college.
His fear for his son seemed to translate to stomach pain. The more he worried, the greater his pain. He knew he should probably talk to his doctor about it, but he just didn’t have time for this right now. It was such a distraction. He feared for Will. And his worry about Will’s apathy made him just want to put his fist through a wall. Would he ever be able to take care of himself?
Will Sheds Some Light
Their camping was uneventful until the second day. Dan and Teresa were cooking fish they’d caught in the lake over an open fire. Will was hungry and enjoyed the aroma of the fish and veggies cooking. He broke the silence.
“Listen you guys, I know you’re worried about me. I don’t know what to say. Just don’t feel like doing much of anything. I don’t care about school or friends. Really, I don’t care about anything. But I don’t know why. I know I used to when I was a kid. But it’s like something died inside me. I don’t know what happened.”
Teresa put her arm around her son.
“Thanks for opening up about it, Will. We’ll help. If you’re willing, we’d like to pursue some ideas to try to help you. Would you be willing to see a doctor?”
Dan added, “Sometimes pressures and hormones make it really tough to figure things out. Be patient with yourself, son.”
They ate the smoky food in silence, but some tension had been broken.
Dan Gets His Own Insight
Dan realized, in the relief of that breakthrough, that he’d let his own worry for Will overwhelm him and interfere in his life and work. He’d become irritable with his wife and son…and avoided emotional intimacy with them because he couldn’t face the failure he felt about raising a son who wasn’t OK, who might not be successful. He’d lost faith that his son was going to grow up to be OK.
He had to shake himself to remember that life can be messy. It doesn’t always follow a smooth, linear path to a happy ending. And his family needed him to be available, engaged, and caring. He needed to be on his game. But his worry about Will’s apathy was so intense at this point, he felt like he needed some help to be functional again…for his family and for himself.
After searching the internet to see what might help, he learned that ketamine treatment had proven particularly helpful for depression and anxiety. After studying what he could about doctors in his area who offered it, he settled on a psychiatrist with a strong reputation, and made an appointment to discuss it.
Dan Takes a Step to Get Help
It occurred to him that this same treatment might help Will, but he felt like Will needed some time to accept — and participate in — treatment, and he also knew that he needed help so he could help Will.
His initial consultation with the psychiatrist revealed he was actually depressed, and that since he had tried a couple different antidepressants (that didn’t help) the previous year, he needed something more.
IV Ketamine Treatment
So he was scheduled for IV ketamine treatment, which involved 6 or more infusions over about 3 weeks.
After each infusion, he felt a change. It was subtle at first, but by the third or fourth infusion he realized he was beginning to feel better about himself and his life. He felt some hope about Will, and began to know that Will was going to be ok with time and support.
He received 7 infusions in all, and continued to feel better and better over the next few weeks that followed.
A New Lease on Life
By then it seemed his patience had grown, as well as his insight into Will’s situation. Dan felt a new lease on life, to tell the truth. And he had more and more energy for engaging with his wife and son. He found ways to talk with Will that his son responded to favorably, and trust began to grow again between them.
Teresa was so relieved to have her husband back, and together they built their relationship stronger and deeper. Plus Will’s outlook began to also improve in that atmosphere.
Will finally told his parents he was worried about his own apathy, and that he’d like to talk to the doctor about ketamine treatment for himself. Watching the change in his dad gave him hope that maybe there was help for him, too.
The doctor explained that ketamine treatment wasn’t for everyone, but since Dan and Will were related and Dan had responded so well, chances were good that it could help Will, too.
As it happened, Will responded very well to his own ketamine treatment. Though he couldn’t tell any difference after the first few infusions, he could feel himself feeling again after the 4th. It wasn’t dramatic at first, but still undeniable.
After 8 infusions, Will’s motivation grew stronger, and initiative replaced the apathy that had plagued him. He started doing better and better in school, and by the end of the year was making A’s and B’s. Confusion and brain fog gave way to more clarity. The future began to matter to Will, and he started thinking about what career he might want to prepare for in college.
Life Takes a Turn
Dan, Teresa, and Will grew closer after weathering depression, anxiety, and hopelessness together, then recovering together after ketamine treatment. They had forged a bond, and developed insights together they hadn’t had before. They no longer worried about anyone’s apathy — because it just wasn’t there anymore — and were free to enjoy the richer aspects of life.
They branched out socially, like they hadn’t in years. Will developed more friendships and Teresa and Dan began to get out more, too.
It’s amazing how restoration of hope and resilience can affect so many aspects of life.
But it can.
If you’re worried about a family member, and it’s affecting your performance at home or at work, you can probably relate to Dan. Or maybe you struggle with apathy yourself…?
Apathy may not be a willful refusal to ignore what’s important. It can be a symptom of depression.
If you’re struggling a lot like Dan or Will, and you haven’t found anything that helps, call us.
As Will’s doctor pointed out, ketamine doesn’t help everyone, but it can be remarkably helpful to most who receive it.
Applying your efforts to building a healthy infrastructure, living a lifestyle that supports joy, and eating a diet rich in flavonoids and healthy fats, you can increase the benefits you receive from your ketamine treatment.
Let us help you celebrate your best self for a long time to come.
To the restoration of your best self,
