Do you ever feel like you’ve lost control of your life? That little by little, things began to fall into a slump that you can’t figure out how to escape from? How do you put your life back on its feet? Where did you go wrong…? It’s like it starts with a bad decision, or a traumatic experience, or some sort of mistake… and somewhere along the line you loose traction… and then your footing. And before long you find yourself toppling over completely and rolling to the bottom of the proverbial hill. You know you need to do a 180 but… How do you get back up again?
Take Hannah, for example. Two years ago she made a snap decision to move out of her apartment and bought a home. It was a small, vintage home and she thought it was so cute. She loved it. She didn’t know much about buying a house. It was her first house, and she got the inspection report and it seemed to be pretty sound.
Moving in and decorating and making it hers was so much fun. But it was all she could do to just make the payments each month. She no longer had the money to eat out, or buy clothes, or put money in savings.
Then she met Jake.
Jake was a looker, and seemed so personable. They spent time together often and he brought a spark into her life. She always looked forward to seeing him.
Occasionally, he took her to dinner, but more often she cooked for him at home. Trouble was, she was finding it difficult to pay her bills when she was buying so many more groceries than she had been.
She began to wonder if she should stop seeing him, because she was embarrassed to tell him she couldn’t afford to feed him so often.
Then, one Saturday, Jake suggested they live together and share bills. Hannah hesitated for a moment. They’d only been seeing each other 7 months…was she ready for this? Were they ready for this?
She’d been feeling the need to do a 180 in her life, but now she was tangled up with Jake.
She thought about it for the next couple days. It was true she liked him, and they had fun together. But living together was a commitment — such a big step! — and she worried they weren’t ready for that. Still… if they didn’t do something to ease the financial strain, they would have to break up. So she agreed to let him move in.
Hannah was too embarrassed to sit down and write up an agreement about what sharing bills would look like. She told herself he was a responsible man and would surely pay half of the bills — because he said he would.
Unfortunately, once he moved his belongings into the house, Jake didn’t seem that motivated to put his things away. The mess of various and copious items, the stacked boxes, the clutter that piled up on tabletops and other surfaces, made her miserable. After two weeks of coping with piles of boxes, clothes, and what looked like pure junk to her, she was really regretting her decision to let him move in.
So she decided to sit down with him and talk about bills, division of responsibilities, and how they can make this work.
She showed him the upcoming bills for the house payment, electricity, gas, water, sewer, internet, and garbage collection.
She made a list of what each of them would need to pay.
Then she talked about responsibilities. In his column she wrote “unpack boxes, and organize belongings.” Jake cleared his throat.
“There’s no room in this house for me to organize my belongings. I’ll just live out of the boxes. I don’t mind.”
“But I do, Jake. I need the house to look pretty and tidy if I’m going to be able to function here. I’ll find places to clear out so you have spots to put your things. But let’s talk about bills. Are you prepared to pay half of all these bills?”
“No. You were already paying all of these yourself. This is your house, not mine. I’m not going to help you buy your house. I’m glad to split electricity with you, and the internet. You can just handle the rest yourself. I wouldn’t have any spending money left if I helped you pay all those bills!”
Slowly, deeply, Hannah felt her heart sinking.
Disappointment oozed through her pores. He wasn’t going to help. He was taking advantage of her and maybe that had been his intention all along. Good grief, she needed a 180 turn in her life.
She felt defeated.
In one last effort, she said, “Jake, whether you live here or somewhere else, you’re using the property, electricity, gas, sewer, water, internet…all of it. And you need to pay for your use of all these things.
“If you thought you could live here and only pay electricity and internet, you’re mistaken. Maybe it’s best that you move out now, before you unpack your boxes.”
Jake exploded, and stormed out the door yelling, “FINE!” The loud bang that followed as he slammed it confirmed he was gone.
Weeks went by. There was no contact from Jake. Hannah texted him and asked him to come pick up his stuff. Again and again. Nothing. It was time to do a 180.
After two months she loaded his boxes into her car and drove them to Goodwill and donated them. She sent him a text to tell him where his things were.
Hannah felt like the worst failure. She should never have bought this house. She should never have agreed to let Jake move in. Bad snap decisions that led to a world of difficulty… and she didn’t know how to fix all this.
On top of that, her circumstances hadn’t changed. She still had no money left for living after she paid her bills. She felt trapped in this house. Trapped in this life. There was no room for friends, or having fun, or even helping others. She just had to figure out how to do a 180 in her life. How to change it.
The longer that soaked in, the more failure she felt. The more failure she felt, the harder it was to go to work. With Christmas approaching, she needed to buy gifts for family and friends. But that would take money she didn’t have. So she just binge-watched Netflix at night and worked during the day. She couldn’t get over what her life had become.
Then, on Christmas Day, she heard a knock on her door. When she answered, it was her friend Mandy…! She hadn’t seen her in months.
“How did you know where to find me?”
Mandy said, “I called your Mom.”
“Well, come in!”
“I brought you leftovers from our Christmas dinner. Since you’re by yourself, I guessed you wouldn’t be cooking today.”
Hannah burst into tears.
“It’s been so hard for so long, Mandy. I appreciate this so much. I feel like my entire life has fallen apart and I don’t know how to fix it. I’ve been pretty isolated, with no one to talk to. Just haven’t had the energy to face anything or come up with solutions. Just going to work every day is so hard. My entire life needs a ‘do-over’… I need to do a 180… but I don’t have the energy to do anything about it.”
“Hannah, I don’t know what the solutions are for you. What I do know is that you need a doctor to help you get on your feet emotionally again. You can’t find solutions when you have no energy to deal with anything.
“Once you get some treatment and start feeling better, you’ll be in a much better position to figure out what changes you need to make to get your life back on track. But from what you’re telling me, it sounds like you have little to work with to really analyze your life.
“Here, take this card. My sister had a major depresssion last year, and went to this psychiatrist. She prescribed medications but they didn’t work, so she encouraged her to get IV ketamine treatment. That treatment helped my sister so much. It’s like she’s a new person.”
Christmas Miracle
Hannah accepted the card gratefully, and hugged Mandy. What a gift her visit turned out to be. It felt like a Christmas present to be given so much hope that life could become better after all that had happened.
She made an appointment for early January. The doctor prescribed some medications, but after 3 months she felt no improvement. So another prescription. And nothing. Something had to give. Her life desperately needed a 180.
Then the doctor recommended IV ketamine treatment, which she said was often effective for those whose oral antidepressants don’t help.
Hannah felt a slight improvement during and after the first infusion. The second infusion a couple days later seemed to extend the effect of the first one. By the time she received the fourth one, she was beginning to feel better, but not better enough. The doctor reminded her that every brain is unique, and ketamine affects various people in different ways. She knew that she could expect to need between 6 and maybe as many as 10 infusions. That they would decide as they watched her response to the treatment.
By the time of the 6th infusion, she noticed she was having pleasant but vivid dreams. She hadn’t remembered a dream in more than a year. She could tell she was improving, and the symptom questionnaire she completed before each infusion showed that she was improving — but not close to remission yet.
She still lacked the energy to do much, and she still needed a 180 in her life… But subtle thoughts of things she wanted to do were rising up inside her. She agreed with her doctor to stop at 8 infusions and see what that could do for her in the coming weeks.
After the 8th
In the weeks that followed, she noticed she was waking up in the morning with a brighter and brighter outlook. She also noticed she wasn’t minding going to work…and her creativity was blooming. She was having more and more new ideas, and her boss was loving them.
When it came time for evaluations with her boss, her score was much higher than the previous year…and she got a raise!
Hannah sent Mandy a basket of fruit, cheese, and wine as a thank you for coming to her house on Christmas and presenting her with hope. Then she called a realtor about selling her house. The subtle changes that resulted over time were the transforming 180 she’d been needing in her life. And IV ketamine treatment was at the core.
What about you?
Do you feel like your life has gotten out of control? Maybe a decision or two has led to disaster, and you don’t know how to get your traction back?
Chaos may lead to depression, anxiety, or PTSD.
A few small steps away from the path can have adventurous results…or horrific results. Do you need to do a 180 like Hannah?
Start with recognizing you’re human. And humans make mistakes. It’s part of who we are. We all make mistakes.
Next, reach out for help.
Most likely there is someone in your circle who can help you find answers. And if the help you need is to get treatment for depression, anxiety, PTSD, suicidal thoughts… IV ketamine can be a remarkable help.
As Christmas and Hanukkah come to your home, as the holiday season of love, sharing, and renewal continues, if you’re overwhelmed and not enjoying it, you may need treatment… especially if nothing else has helped.
Don’t keep suffering silently. Call us.
We can help you with the fastest way to get better using IV ketamine treatment in a relaxed and comfy setting (which also happens to be gorgeous).
If you’re hurting, we want to help.
To all our friends this holiday season— may you be well, may you find peace, may you be happy.
To the restoration of your best self,
