Ryan blew out a breath. He felt like the walls were closing in on him. He’d been working at this company for 9 years, and for some time now, he didn’t feel like he was contributing his best work. He didn’t know what was wrong, but he just didn’t have good ideas like he used to. Something akin to brain fog had been filling his head for so long he could hardly remember being sharp and productive. Most of the time he felt like he plodded along, doing grunt work. He was worried he’d lost his edge. Somehow, his job had turned into drudgery, and he felt like he was always playing catch up. Then one day his boss came to his office and closed the door. Not a good sign. “Ryan, as you know your annual evaluation didn’t carry a very high score. I’m sorry to have to do this….but…you’re fired. Gather your things and security will be here shortly to escort you from the building.”
“What???”
“You heard me. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you know this company operates on the performance of its employees. Your performance has been way down for over two years. My hands are tied.”
Ryan’s dignity shriveled in his gut. His self respect shriveled with it. He trudged down the hall to the supply room to find a box for his stuff. Head hanging, eyes staring at the floor, shoulders slumped…this was surely the worst day of his life. When you get fired, it soaks into your very core, eroding away your sense of worth.
He was too stunned to analyze what happened…or why. He just kept putting one foot in front of the other to get a box and load it with his belongings because security was coming to escort him out of the building whether he was ready or not.
After security walked him to his car, he stopped at a bar before driving home. What would he tell his wife? She would lose all respect for him and probably leave him. He’d been trembling ever since he got the news, and he just had to find a way to get a grip. He needed to be strong for Trina. He needed Trina…he didn’t want to lose her. But why would she stay with a loser?
The pain and shock of the morning loomed before him. It was hard to get his thoughts to work. Who would ever hire him again? With a failure this serious on his record, what did he have to offer..? But without work, how could he take care of his family? Pay bills? Would they lose their house? Their cars?
The more he worried, the more he worried.
Fear of the future threatened to knock him to his knees. He could think of no solutions, just failure, shock, loss, and despair.
When he arrived home, Trina was in the kitchen. She turned to see him with a look of surprise.
“What brings you home so early in the day?”
“We need to talk. I had a terrible blow. Let’s sit down.”
They walked into the living room and sat on the sofa.
“What is it, Ry?”
“I can hardly say it out loud. I honestly feel so shocked…and ashamed. Got fired this morning…”
“Fired?? What happened?”
“My boss told me my performance has been down for 2 years. He said it was out of his hands. I know I haven’t felt as sharp for awhile…like my head is full of cotton. It’s been hard to come up with new ideas, or to make clever contributions. But I had no idea I was on the verge of losing my job. I’m so sorry Trinie.”
“Oh Ry, I’m so so sorry. What a terrible blow.”
“The worst of it is that I have no idea what to do. How will I get hired somewhere else with this on my record? And how can I perform somewhere else when I couldn’t perform at the job I had? What’s wrong with me?”
Trina instinctively knew she needed to help reduce the stress Ryan was feeling right now, before he could move forward. He was close to panic and that would only work against him.
She made him some lunch, put on some music, and they sat down to eat. She held his hand and told him as tough as things looked right now, they were going to get through this together.
“Somehow, Ry, everything is going to work out. It will.”
After lunch they went for a walk together. Trina told him about her friend Jill, whose husband had been depressed and is seeing a psychiatrist. Ryan rolled his eyes.
“Try to listen to me, Ry.
“Jill’s husband’s name is Paul. He’d been in a funk for months and finally decided to see a psychiatrist who told him he had major depressive disorder. He and Jill were shocked by that. They knew he was irritable, and sort of bland, but they didn’t realize it was depression. He tried some medication that didn’t help and finally was encouraged to try IV ketamine treatment. It was a series of 7 or 8 infusions — I don’t remember — but it helped him dramatically. He says he’s thinking more clearly, feeling creative, far less irritable, and feels optimistic for the future.
“Jill says the biggest change that she’s noticed is that he enjoys moments, food, their time together and with the kids. It’s his ability to enjoy.”
Ryan was quiet.
“I wonder if those changes in mental clarity and creativity are common. Without that kind of change, I’m worried whether I can function in a new job, not to mention successfully interview for one.”
Trina paused thoughtfully, then said, “Let’s find out. Let’s look through the internet when we get back and see what we can learn. It seems like there may be some real hope here.”
And they did just that.
A day that began as one of the worst days of Ryan’s life, the day he got fired, wound up to be one with sprigs of hope popping up all around. They learned that Ryan had apparently developed major depression, based on all the symptoms they found listed. He kept wishing he’d realized it before so he could have done something about it before losing his job. But he was hopeful with treatment he’d be able to rebuild his career and his life.
He was so thankful for Trina. Her unconditional love propped him up and gave him courage he hadn’t had that morning. And the way she dove into problems seeking real solutions made problems seem to shrink.
He called for an emergency appointment with a psychiatrist they found who offered ketamine. After a trial with medications that didn’t seem to help him at all, he was able to schedule IV ketamine treatment.
He began to notice some improvement after the 3rd infusion, but it was so subtle he wasn’t sure if it might be his imagination. Then after the 4th infusion, it seemed there was a little bit of elevation. Strange, hard to describe, but unmistakable.
After the fifth infusion, he began to feel hope. And he noticed spurts of emotion that had been silent before.
The sixth infusion was right before Thanksgiving, so he had to wait over a week for the 7th one. That turned out to be positive for him. For some reason, that resulted in the 7th infusion being more potent, and he found himself laughing on the way home. After that, and the 8th, he got better and better.
Ryan and Trina made a point to go for a walk every afternoon, to get fresh air and to enjoy the sounds of leaves rustling in the trees, and see birds flying. Taking the time to relax and enjoy those times rocked his recovery.
Finally, Ryan began to prepare so that he could be astute for job interviews. The benefits of ketamine treatment showed up in his social ease, his patience, his creative ideas, and his hope.
It only took several interviews until he was hired in a new company. By that time he’d been out of work for 6 1/2 months, and his energy, skills, and creativity were working again.
It turned out that the atmosphere in the new company was far better suited to Ryan’s nature and work style than his old job had been. He never could have dreamed he’d be happier there, but he was.
Losing a job, especially being fired, can be a traumatic and damaging experience. Some people never get over it. Others are able to adapt and move forward. But if you’re depressed and plagued with anxiety already, before you’re fired, that’s just a heavier load than anyone should have to carry.
IV ketamine treatment can help.
If you got fired, or were laid off, don’t despair. Your life can go on. You can go on.
If you’ve had a traumatic blow, and you’re suffering from depression and/or anxiety like Ryan, call us.
IV ketamine treatment may give you the advantage you need against these debilitating symptoms, and give you the open door to hope and restoration. Give yourself the chance to strive for remission of your symptoms, so you can embrace your life with joy.
To the restoration of your best self,
