Jarrett woke up with the weight of the world on his chest. He was so weighted down, so hopeless, and felt like he’d explode. He went to the kitchen, poured a glass of milk, drank it, and slammed the glass down on the counter. Then stomped outside, gripping his fists at this side. Jarrett didn’t realize he had bipolar depression in teens.
He was fed up with feeling this way. So irritable, sometimes explosive, impatient, and full of shame. He felt like a monster when he was like this. With such a short fuse, he snapped at his family, then stormed out of the kitchen.
Later, at school, he felt saturated with self-loathing and despair. Agitation stirred in him as he went to class and tried to focus. Just sitting in his seat seemed impossible, so he’d ask to go to the restroom just to be able to move around. And he dreaded going back to class. So he messed around, procrastinated going back. Finally, he returned to the classroom and folded his arms, stared at his lap, and just sat there until class was over.
This misery wasn’t new to Jarrett. He had been struggling with bipolar depression in teens for two or three years… just irritability at first, but then one day his parents had said something to him about inappropriate behavior and it cut him to the quick.
Suddenly, he felt himself getting angrier and angrier, and spewing words with an intensity he never had before. His mind was swirling with panic and offense, and he felt utterly betrayed.
The shocked look on their faces revealed they didn’t understand his reaction. He felt justified in his rage, more than he ever had before. The pain he felt from their accusation was the deepest he had ever felt. They could see he was genuinely hurt, but couldn’t understand why he felt so strongly.
And that was the beginning.
After that, other situations and disagreements led to similar reactions. His forceful words were peppered with profanity and vulgarity. Sometimes the culmination of this upheaval gave way to Jarrett storming out the door, ignoring their calls for him to come back.
Sometimes he was gone an hour, sometimes two or three. But he usually eventually returned in a calmer frame of mind, sometimes sorry for his outburst.
As he got older, the outbursts grew louder and went on longer. Then he began to form friendships with more troubled kids his age. His parents grew increasingly more worried and tried to influence how he spent his time. But it became more and more difficult to supervise him.
They were afraid for him, and made an appointment with a psychiatrist to try to get him help. The doctor diagnosed Jarrett with bipolar I disorder. Jarrett grew darker, and more depressed… and hopeless. They could hardly get him out of bed. He missed school because he just wasn’t functioning. Bipolar depression in teens can be so debilitating that school attendance can become almost impossible.
He seemed to sleep around the clock. Getting him to wake up and go to a doctor’s appointment was difficult…sometimes next to impossible. When they finally did, the doctor prescribed some medicines, some of which had intense side effects. Jarrett’s tolerance for the added difficulties caused by the medicines wore thin.
The medicines weren’t making much of an improvement in how he felt, and the side effects were complicating his misery.
He didn’t want to live like this any more. He wanted to die.
Finally, Jarrett read online about IV ketamine treatment for bipolar depression. He read about people who had been greatly helped by it. Even though it wasn’t a solution for all his symptoms, it might help resolve the depression symptoms that wound their way through everything.
When he told his parents about IV ketamine treatment, they searched online for more information, and for a psychiatry practice that offered it. They called the doctor who diagnosed Jarrett’s bipolar disorder to see if he would provide it, but he told them he didn’t offer it. Then they found a psychiatrist who offered IV ketamine treatment and made an appointment.
After a thorough evaluation, he began his first infusion treatment.
That afternoon after the infusion, he didn’t feel quite as deeply depressed, but he wondered if it was just that he was hopeful that this treatment would help. Sort of a placebo maybe?
The infusion was a new experience. He felt like he was floating and had sensations and images in his mind. It felt like he was moving through time and space. Overall, it was pleasant, and a bit curious.
A few days later, he went for his second infusion. That evening, he definitely felt a mild improvement. It wasn’t his imagination this time. He could tell something was changing. The difference was mild, but a great relief. Jarrett wondered if this was the full result of the treatment.
But, the following week he went for his third infusion and felt even better afterward. His hope was growing.
The 4th, 5th, and 6th infusions led to his feeling better and better and better. And in the weeks that followed his outlook continued to improve. He still needed treatment for his manias, but they didn’t come that often, and the freedom from depression made it so much easier for him to manage his school work.
Jarrett had hope for the first time in years.
He began to focus on his schoolwork to make up the time he had lost. For the first time since third grade he felt like he might have a future after all.
Bipolar disorder is the 4th leading cause of disability in young people ages 10-24. Often diagnosed in adolescence, it can wreak havoc during your teen’s formative years. Symptoms like emotion dysregulation, impulsivity, and irritability can show up during earlier childhood before mania appears. Bipolar depression in teens is a severe form of depression that can interrupt your child’s childhood and adolescence, interfering with their normal growth and development, distorting their perceptions of themselves, and crushing their ability to succeed.
IV ketamine treatment can be transformative for your teen. The chaotic symptoms of bipolar disorder can scramble your child and make it difficult for him to focus on goals. When symptoms of depression disappear, the illness can become much more manageable. Your teen can feel more in control of his life.
Kids don’t understand when these symptoms emerge in them. They often feel angry and justified in their anger, incensed that they would be challenged. (Sounds like adolescence, doesn’t it? The difference is the intensity of the anger, how misunderstood they feel, and a cluster of other symptoms at the same time.) That son or daughter you were able to reason with in the past may no longer negotiate or cooperate.
If he or she seems irrational, panicked, and possibly violent, get help. This may not be a war of wills, but a mood disorder.
To the restoration of your best self,
Thank you.
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